I thought I would slip
over to the far side of the room to wait in the prayer line, but the minister
walked over to me first, then spent quite a long time with me, even though
others were waiting in line and he only ended up praying over 4 people all
evening (other altar ministers prayed for the rest). I am so glad the Holy Spirit led him to take
that time to minister to me! As God
gently touched and healed a number of “hidden issues” in my heart – things I
was barely aware of day to day, and the even more hidden root causes or earlier
experiences behind them – I began to feel more free and more “light” than I had
felt in months.
For example, I was not fully
aware of when or how disconnected I’d become (from God and other people,
especially in church), but chronic pain and fatigue plus a number of disappointments
in the past year had let to a vague undercurrent of weariness and lethargy,
even though my daily “spiritual disciplines” – established habits of prayer,
worship, Bible reading, giving, etc - were all in place. God also took me back to a moment of anger
from childhood, and as I forgave those involved and surrendered the areas of self-protection
that resulted from immature attempts to manage my own fear and hurt in an
unjust situation, I began to experience the tenderness and light of the Holy
Spirit flowing into areas of my heart and life that had been “closed” to Him
and others.
As this was happening, I
“saw” (a mental image of) an armoire, at first with the doors closed. Then the door on one side began to open, and
light began to enter the cabinet, as I felt God gently touching my heart and
softening places that had been hard or “closed.” I wasn’t crying or shaking or doing much at
all - it was a very quiet, gentle experience.
In fact, if God hadn’t basically called me forward (with the arthritis
altar call) and brought a minister in front of me who simply wouldn’t move on
until God was finished, I wouldn’t even have realized I how much needed His
touch in these areas. It was amazing how peaceful I felt!
The next night I found
myself dancing with renewed freedom at a worship service, and the following day
I walked outdoors (for exercise) twice as long and twice as fast as I had
quite in a while. I felt great! – so much
more healthy and free...
I share this very personal
experience, because I think all of us have experienced some degree of “shutting
down” or “shutting out” things that bother us, and it’s worth checking with God
to see if there might be something we need to surrender to Him in order to open
the channels of love & communicaton (with Him and others) – so His healing
power can flow not only to our bodies, but in all our relationships and
expressions of ministry (loving & living for Him). It’s not always at a conscious level, or
maybe we have lived with certain limitations for so long we don’t even notice
them… but He is faithful and unlimited in His ability to heal and free us from
anything that hinders His Love and Truth in our lives.
An armoire is a cabinet /
closet that is used nowadays for everything from clothing to televisions and computers, but was originally used for tools and weapons. How many of us have hidden talents or aren’t
experiencing the full flow of God’s power to heal ourselves and others
(spiritually, emotionally or physically) due to closed doors of
self-protection? Ask God to show you,
and let Him in.
