Changing the Way I Think about Pink

(I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while, since I was diagnosed and successfully treated for Stage 2 breast cancer earlier this year.  I know it's the last day of the month, but I wanted to get this one posted in October, because…)

October is “Breast Cancer Awareness Month.” According to Wikipedia, “Breast Cancer Awareness Month (BCAM) is an annual international health campaign organized by major breast cancer charities every October to increase awareness of the disease and to raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure. The campaign also offers information and support to those affected by breast cancer. As well as providing a platform for breast cancer charities to raise awareness of their work and of the disease, BCAM is also a prime opportunity to remind women to be breast aware for earlier detection.”

Although my mother died of metastatic breast cancer in 1989, I’d never participated in a “Race for the Cure” event, or purchased anything (yogurt, laundry detergent, microwave meals, etc.) just because it had a pink ribbon on it. All that "pink stuff" seemed a little too commercial for my taste and, after all, what does laundry detergent have to do with breast cancer? (Corporate sponsorships can add dollars for research, awareness and treatment programs - but I didn’t know that until recently.) I had serious misgivings about chemotherapy (having seen two dear friends annihilated by “curing” lung cancer but killing the patient) and I wasn't sure if contributing to “pink” fundraising supported those kinds of treatments.  Actually, this month's issue of Marie Claire magazine includes an article by Lea Goldman entitled "The Big Business of Breast Cancer," which exposes some less trustworthy organizations that have jumped on the "pink" bandwagon - a solid warning to pay attention to where the money goes (good advice for any type of charitable giving).

A few months into my own journey through breast cancer - which started with a routine mammogram, then a sonogram that same day in December, referral to a breast surgeon who did a needle biopsy in January, ordered an MRI in February, performed a lumpectomy in March, followed by daily radiation treatments that spanned 8 weeks into early June, and an "all clear" MRI in August - I found myself defending "the pink stuff" to a friend who had lost several loved ones to cancer and wasn't buying into the all-too-cheery "cancer culture" she sees around us these days. I was beginning to understand a little better why many who'd been through breast cancer - their own, or that of a friend or family member - would want to support and encourage efforts toward awareness and cure... My friend also mentioned "Crazy Sexy Cancer" - a documentary film by cancer survivor Kris Carr, author of several books and a website www.crazysexylife.com, which promote a kind of boutique spirituality, raw foods and yoga - little comfort, I would imagine, to anyone with late stage cancer or terrible chemo side effects, but strangely appealing to me in the early months of my own diagnosis and treatment.  I found Carr's saucy blend of humor and realism deeply comforting, like having a good friend who understands exactly what you're going through, at a traumatic time when most of your "normal" friends have no idea what to say or do...

Shortly after I finished a couple of Carr's books, my sister (a nurse-midwife who has participated in several Race for the Cure events, and cared for my mother in the last years of her long battle) recommended Nancy Brinker's Promise Me, the story of how her sister's death inspired her to build the Susan G. Komen foundation, which has raised over $1.5 billion "for the cure" since 1982.  Brinker's book put "pink stuff" into a whole new perspective for me:  30 years ago, if I'd been diagnosed at all, I might have undergone a mastectomy and/or chemotherapy, with all kinds of horrendous (and some irreversible) side effects, none of which was necessary in my case.  Thanks to increased awareness and support for medical advances in breast cancer research and treatment, more than 85% of women diagnosed with breast cancer this year will survive "long-term" (at least 10 years or more).

So, in spite of legimate misgivings about commercialism and not wanting to be superficial about the various complex and painful experiences of others, I still wanted to write this little article to say "thank you" to people like Nancy Brinker and Kris Carr, who have affected my life in some pretty important ways.  These days, when I see a pink ribbon on anything at all, I inwardly thank God all over again for people who've been brave and bold and committed enough to do whatever they could to change my world for the better.   And for the cancer survivors I know - like the receptionist who sent me a pink bouquet with a pink ribbon on behalf of my office, a few days after my last radiation treatment... Some of that "pink stuff" really means a lot to me after all.

Unity in Diversity

“Unity isn’t conformity, but the celebration of diversity.” ~ Kris Vallotton

About 15 years ago, I purchased an original watercolor (pictured above) by a young artist named Sara-Anne Wolgin (Caudle), a member of the church I attended at that time.  I liked the painting because it reminded me of two things that were significant to me: (1) the pastor’s mother, whom we all called “Grandma,” had a beautiful garden at the side of her house, with just this kind of not-too-tidy array of diverse plants and flowers; and, perhaps more importantly, (2) our church had held an outreach event the night before, where I saw an amazing display of various gifts & talents flowing together in harmony, which struck me as an equally beautiful sight.

“Under His [Christ’s] direction, the whole body is fitted together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”

[Ephesians 4:16 NLT]

Sometimes church leaders try to organize around a military model - discouraging “individualism” and “independence” in their (mostly well-intentioned) efforts to ensure unity, loyalty, respect, obedience, servanthood - to minimize internal conflict and pursue common goals… Scripture speaks about spiritual warfare – the fact that sin and evil “war against” our new nature in Christ - but the primary model for Christian relationships is family. Words like “soldier,” “war” and “warfare” are used to describe the Christian life just a handful of times in the entire New Testament, while Jesus used the word “Father” (referring to God), “brother” and “sister” (referring to one another, not just biological family) over 60 times in the book of Matthew alone.

In a healthy family, aren’t we glad that our children are different from one another and not little clones, exactly like us in every respect? Isn’t our goal as parents (and leaders) to raise up individuals who can handle God-given freedoms and make good choices? What loving father is offended by his child's questions or continually preoccupied with how his children are falling short of perfection? Do we think this is how God sees and deals with us?

Unity is not sameness, and God is not threatened by our multiple perspectives or points of view. He is willing to answer our questions, comfort us when we feel weak, pursue us in our waywardness, and forgive our mistakes (and we all make them).  Of course this doesn’t mean we don’t have any rules, or that we don’t respect leaders – but leaders also need to respect God’s people, and rules can be expressed kindly and clearly, without threatening an individual's God-given identity and freedom in Christ.  From the beginning of creation, God has given human beings the freedom to choose His way, or not - so that our love can be a genuine, voluntary response to His.

[For more on related topics, see books & audio teachings on relationships by Danny Silk, available at www.iBethel.org/store - especially Culture of Honor and Loving Our Kids On Purpose.]

In truth, we need our differences – consider the apostle Paul's description of God’s Church as Christ's Body, in which many different parts work together according to His design: 

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up only one body. So it is with the body of Christ...we have all been baptized into Christ's body by one Spirit, and we have all received the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part.  If the foot says, "I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand," that does not make it any less a part of the body.  And if the ear says, "I am not part of the body because I am only an ear and not an eye," would that make it any less a part of the body?  Suppose the whole body were an eye -- then how would you hear? Or if your whole body were just one big ear, how could you smell anything?  But God made our bodies with many parts, and he has put each part just where He wants it.  What a strange thing a body would be if it had only one part!  Yes, there are many parts, but only one body.  The eye can never say to the hand, "I don't need you." The head can't say to the feet, "I don't need you."  In fact, some of the parts that seem weakest and least important are really the most necessary.  And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect from the eyes of others those parts that should not be seen,  while other parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together in such a way that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity.  This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other equally.  If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.  Now all of you together are Christ's body, and each one of you is a separate and necessary part of it.

[I Corinthians 12:12-27 NLT] 

Various perspectives, personalities, giftings, strengths, even the care with which we handle our "weak areas" - all are necessary and valuable to the overall health and functioning of the whole.

By the way, I recently met a few more members of my spiritual family in Guatemala, and was blessed all over again by the beauty of how God brings together diverse people, gifts & talents, causing them all to flow together in harmonious and loving unity in Christ.  Below is a link to my photo album - the captions tell some of what I experienced on this trip (9/16 to 9/24/11).  I worked as a translator for the medical team (including a doctor, 4 nurses, and a tax attorney who organized volunteers from upstate NY).  Other team members did plumbing repairs at the school, built a house for the family of one of the students, helped teach classes in sewing, crafts, and English.  Some were Lutheran, Catholic, charismatic, and… it was a beautiful thing to see.

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1983851998872.97425.1320390486&l=9530665057&type=1

 Now there are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but it is the same Holy Spirit who is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service in the church, but it is the same Lord we are serving. There are different ways God works in our lives, but it is the same God who does the work through all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church...It is the one and only Holy Spirit who distributes these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.

[I Corinthians 12:4-7, 11 NLT]